I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
