Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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