how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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