im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
