does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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