oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
