somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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