Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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