Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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