Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
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A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
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See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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