just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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