Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
tell me about the fingering
Randomize