Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
