I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
