Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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