I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize