Joe is yelling at the trees again.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I think I sprained my soul last night
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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