oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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