Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
