i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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