i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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