Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
