if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
i out mim tonsoeep
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
