Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
