It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
