i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
