Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
