Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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