TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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