My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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