I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
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No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
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I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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