Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just high enough for therapy.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
