Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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