dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
