What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
