All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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