My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
