She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
