Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
