Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My life is pants optional.
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