I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
