dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
