I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Someone signed my nipple.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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