don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
