Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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