It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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