Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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