you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
