I only kidnapped one of them. chill
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
