Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
