I swear she didn't look like that last week.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Are we still banned from the library?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
