Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I want to walk on stilts...naked
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
These tits shall not be calmed
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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