Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
