there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
