escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
