tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
