i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
