i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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