i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
