I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
