I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
