Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize