she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
