My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
