I wish I could teleport
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
